Bad on the Dance Floor, Good in Bed?
1 year, 8 months agoClick by LavaLife, By Lisa Daily, November 26, 2008
I have a friend, Leila, who swears there's a correlation between bad dancing and good lovin'.
"Any guy who spends too much effort to look good on the floor is all flash, no substance," she says. "It's the guys who can keep a beat, but are only out there for their dates --- those guys are the ones who are amazing in bed."
Nicholas Aretakis, author of a new book, Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right, agrees with Leila's assessment. Well, sort of.
"Men typically dance to the rhythm inside their head," says Aretakis, "while women dance to the rhythm of the song. That's just a gender-gap reality.
If you want to extrapolate from dancing to sex, look for the guy who's actually trying to pay attention and improve his moves. He may still look like a silverback gorilla who's had a few too many, but the fact that he's making an attempt means he's got a lot of potential between the sheets."
Personally, I've always believed the opposite to be true. In my experience, the guys who could work a dance floor were pretty good at working the headboard as well. And there is some research to back that up.
Lee Cronk, an associate professor of anthropology at Rutgers said, "At least since Darwin, scientists have suspected that dance so often plays a role in courtship because dance quality tracks with mate quality."
Darwin, for instance believed dancing to be an important part of mate selection.
And a recent study at Rutgers found that men who are better dancers tended to be more symmetrical, a sign linked to attractiveness and better quality mates in other studies. Interestingly enough, the study did not show as high a correlation for women. In other words, we ladies are not generally held to the same high dance floor standards.
TK, a dater, says, "Being good in bed is all about rhythm and synchronizing with your partner. Sometime you move your body along with her body, but sometimes you move your body away from her body. This same idea of "Push-Pull" is basic in dance styles such as Salsa, Tango, Hip Hop, etc."
R&B producer Aaron McCoy says women "know implicitly what they want out of a guy while at the dance club. They want a guy who can show them something new and freaky, while keeping the fundamentals of hip motion in tact but drawing them in with just enough pizzazz."
In TK's opinion, "Hip movement is probably the most important factor in making magic in bed. Dancers who excel in styles that involve hip movements, such as Latin, Asian and Hip Hop dances, are likely to be awesome in bed.
On the other hand, a dancer who only knows very rigid Western ballroom dances (which hardly involves hip movements) is less likely to be good in bed."
McCoy says, "Dancing is seductive, call and response at times, synching motions, passionate and naturally a heart thumper, such is true in the bedroom as well."
TK claims, "I can tell if I am going to have a great time with a girl in bed just from dancing with her. How can you not tell? Especially the way we dance nowadays. If we didn't have clothes on, it would already be sex. I know right away if we are physically and mentally connected.
"If two people can communicate just with body language, to step left, to step right, or to spin, there is no possible way we're going to have awkward gyration in bed."
Finally, TK adds, "If someone can dance all night long with you, you know he or she can last all night in bed. Dancing is not as easy as it looks. It takes a lot of stamina, strength and flexibility. There is nothing worse than having sex with someone who cannot keep up with you, or sweats all over you."
Hallelujah to that.
Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of Stop Getting Dumped! and a new novel, Fifteen Minutes of Shame
